Tuesday, August 18, 2009

tagged!! twitter trend topic:

thanks you guys. i needed your energy to pull me back in. ii talked to HLF last night and was very forward when i told him ii wasn't interested in him romantically anymore. He asked if ii was still messing with Joseph and ii was up front and told him yes. to my surprise he did not get mad. we even talked for a little while longer. the thing about this is, ii think he's only trying to be cool to minipulate me into getting back. it seems like he's making me think he is cool and okay with being friends and he thinks he's going to win me over. iim smarter this time. and thanks to you guys comments im not even trying to give him another chance. ii wont say never. as of now, NOT!

so I have been tagged to give 10 famous excuses: no limits, any excuse. tag 10 people to give 10 excuses.

#famousexcuses this isn't a hickey!....I got punched in the neck! (LMAOOO)

#famousexcuses i Nah i aint never went through your phone and read you texts

#famousexcuses I don't got no service so txt me

#famousexcuses shorty is ugly i would never fck anything like that

#famousexcuses im allergic to condoms.....smh

#famousexcuses I've been really busy....Really? why are you online tweeting... lol

#famousexcuses Ima pull out....negative! Wrap it up

only did seven and i only tagged 7 so do it everyone!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

help me.

so im in a fucking delima!!!!!!!!!! well let me catch you guys up.

so HLF was calling me of the chainz for the past few weeks. so the first time he finally called he wanted to curse me out some more. yell some more like i gave a flying fuck. if i was still interested in him like that, ii would have cursed back & dealt with listening to him. however; im not that chick anymore. im so over that shit. so the first night he called me, i listened to what he had to say, well YELL. he was basically saying sum shit like, how ii get mad at him knowing i fucked ole boy. saying he was feeling bad while ii was hoeing around. WTF? shut up asshole. so i told him "im hanging up now" & ii did just that. he called me back a second later talking that shit. cursing me out for hanging up. ii warned him AGAIN that ii was hanging up. & ii did. he called me again. ii was smart enough to press ignore. so that fucker called me again and again until i turned my phone off.

he waited two days later & called me again. ii didnt answer that shit. he called back the next morning. only because he left a message that night saying he just wanted to have a civil conversation. "how are you" is what he started the conversation with LMAO! ii was thinkin WTF? ii said a pretty solemn "fine" then he asked me about my plans for the day. WTF!!!!!!! ii did not want to be cool with this dickhead. granted ii still loved him. but the way ii get over some dirty ass shit like this is NOT be friendly. it would be easy for me to fall back in. ii still liked him too much to think we could be cool. ii said something without saying anything really. im not trying to let this bitch know my plans. so he sensed it in my tone and asked if i wanted to talk about the situation. my mean ass said "thats the point of you calling" usually he would get mad off a smart comment. he didnt. he was really wanting to be cool. well damn! to make a long story short he asked if we could work on fixing on our relationship and move past this. ii told him i wasnt ready. he didnt like my answer and start asking about joseph. we end up getting into a yelling and cursing match and he hung up in my face. round and round we go.

all the while i been living it up with joseph. so all HLF negetivity wasnt effecting this bitch in the least. ii havent told joe about him calling. ii didnt plan to either!

o yea. i forgot to tell ya'll i was hanging out with the BFF and her lil sis. her lil sis fergie told us that kim (the girl HLF cheated on me with) told her that she went to his house, he cooked for her and they watched a movie. and had sex. ya'll i fuckin balled. that shit hurt like a two ton brick on my heart. whats with these mixed up ass emotions. i felt like i was being selfish when im doing the same thing. i had already been with joseph. talked to him everyday. so WTF are these feelings still strong.

so i let my friends talk me into calling kim. ii called her ass and cussed her the fuck out. told her where ii was at if she wanted to handle it. only reason im mad at that skank is because she knew that ii was with HLF. she knew that shit & still pursued him. that bitch wasnt saying shit on the phone while ii was cussing her out. ii called her all kinds of bitches and hoes!! told her if i hear she's been with HLF again i will fuck her upt......fucking skank! if ii catch her in the street........... no ii wont. im working on myself. im passed it. ii still cant believe she didnt hang up or get with me! lol. all she said was "are you finished?" lmao!! i said "no bitch" and kept going. then i hung up on her. and soon after, ii felt bad. as me and joe talked, i learned he doesnt like girls that are hot heads (me) LMAO. ii dont like that type of behavior either. so im not even gonna worry about her. i dont know why ii let them hype me up to even call. all it does is prove ii still like HLF cause he text me a couple minutes after i hung up with her. "why the hell you in my business" & "dont call kim no more" i was steamed and start crying once more.

well let me think.....what else has been happening????????????? nuthin just a few more yummy nights ( and days ) with joseph. ill save that for another blog.

so since we pretty much caught up, til now. you guys are going to kill me!!!!!
HLF called me last night. ii answered and he was basically begging for me back. ok, he wasnt begging but he was doing a lot for the type of guy he he is. he doesnt give up his feelings or talk about emotions too much. he told me he missed me. and he never thought he loved me this much. iit took me going away for him to realize it. we talked for 4 hours about everything. we even laughed. im afraid to tell you guys but joseph called while we were on the phone, but i didnt click over. i know, i know. iim being stupid. this is the hardest fuckin shit! he even ended the coversation with "i love you" and he said if ill have him back he wants it to be right. boyfriend and girlfrind. thats how he was able to loose focous on our relationship and be with that skank. he said he didnt feel comminted to me. so he wants to commit. how is it that the pain he caused is not sticking with me? how is it that after one good conversation on the phone ii forgot about everything we've been through and all the good times with joseph. ii keep crying because i dont know what to do! how can ii be strong? please help me. ii need advise like forreals.

i didnt say yes or no. ii told him ii need to think about everything. guys, he even told me he cried. ii said YEA THE FUCK RIGHT! but he said he did, just because he dont show his emotions to me doesnt mean he dont have them. is that a load of shit?? should ii believe that? he apologized a few times and ii did too. im crying as im typing this blog because i really have no clue on how ii should handle this. the easiest thing is to let him go cause ii have a reason. ii dont have a good logical reason to let joseph go. FUCK! i hate everything! my life sucks.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

joseph asked me for my blogg address!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he is currently on the phone reading my last update!
he cussed me out (jokingly) for two reason.
"why the hell u put my name on there and _______ gets to remain a secret"
POINT! but, my slick ass said my blog is real and iim really into YOU so you get a real name
HLF gets no LOVE, not even a fuckin name. pppphhhwaahahhaha
(real talk, jo3. HEY BOOSKIE)
and second reason is cause he said his mom is NOT jamacian and white! LOL! shit. ii thoughts thats what the fuck he said. my ass was half sleep! witcha half breed ass! just incase he refreshes momz is jamacian and dad is white. fuck me twice!

Friday, August 7, 2009

on the phone with the booskie.
im falling fast && O so fast
i'll be smart ya'll. he just says all the right shit
maybe O maybe, im just on the rebound.
im more opened than usual.
shit! what the fuck.
i'll catch u guys up. i need to stay on top of my shit
cause im falling with my blog and shit
my diary is some weeks behind.
joseph and i are already together if you havent noticed.
he keeps telling me to get the fuck off the phone.
he just said im not giving him all the attention.

oh ii really have to tell you all about HLF and his manipulative ways


masturbation can do great damage to you sexually. Your sexual stimulation and pleasure can become tied to certain images that aren't reality, that only exist in your head. Your future sex life within your marriage, could suffer.


what the hell type of shit is that?? what the hell you trying to say? if i masturbate too much, when ii finally get get some from a person all ima think about is my hand? get outtttta heeere! shit, the images in my head is of the man ima have sex with! so im fuckin with the images in my head of the mutherfucker im fuckin! LMAO!

i think its just the OPPOSITE! the more i masterbate. the more i know me. the more i teach him. the BETTER our marrige will BE!!!!!



I decided to use other ppls topics that ii see and find interesting. so what! say sumin! lmao. i figured that way ii will have something other than my relationship to talk about loves.

ii just ran across a blog with a fuckin great story about being in a complicated relationship with a married man. (new follower now. seems like she has some real shit to talk about) well ii dont know if its complicated cause she says it is, then doesnt in the comments. confused.

ii read some comments to see, what they had to say about her situation. cause im a never say never type a gal. ii could say ii wont deal with a married man til one with a good dick, some personality and his shit together (besides his not doing her damn wife) and im hooked.

so anywho.... The comments where more geared towards is the status complicated a cop out or a valid answer. so ii said some shit like...
FUCK YEA, THAT SHIT IS! FUCK U MEAN I CANT HAVE A COMPLICATED as my RELATIONSHIP status Lmfao! cop out means avoiding the question. shit actually. id like to talk about that shit! LMAO

my last relationship status was nothing more and nothing less than complicated. we wasn't single and we wasn't in a relationship OUR ASS WAS COMPLICATED. simple as that. THER FOR IT IS! i have proof!ME. blah blah. this a good TOPIC though. thought i'd share. tomorrow ill have some opinions about others.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

i wasnt taged but, ill do it anyways

1. Is there any type of sexual act you're embarrassed to ask for? (If so, what? Hee...)

not! this question is probably geared toward men! now theres some shit i just won't do. but i like everything ii ask for and those are not embarrassing

2. Have you ever dumped someone purely because of bad sexual performance?

no. hopefully ii will never.

3. Name something you would say no to if asked to do in bed.

all that extreme shit. peeing. never did anal cause ii say NO.

4. The three words that best describe you in bed are ____, ____, and ____.

passionate, vocal, freaky

5. Have you ever been so emotionally moved by a sexual experience (in a good way), that you cried?


Bonus (as in optional): What could your partner bring to bed that would most turn you on?

ii just got it for the first time, slow passionate sex.

i tagg all of you if your BOLD ENOUGH!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Im back loves!

so iive been falling off the wagon with my blog. its cuz life had been a little crzy with all the drama surrounding the aspects of my life. i've been dealing with the HLF/ joseph delima for the past week.
after HLF kicked me out. ii went home crying. not a good look cuz ii had to explain to my momz the problem. something i didnt want 2 do. of coarse i didn't tell her everything. ii told her HLF broke up with me. I told her the reasoning was he was at a party messing wit some skank, so ii fooled around myself ii didn't tell her ii slept with a nother guy (get real). her motherly advice was "two wrongs never make a right" and that ii should NOT have repeated his actions. she said how it then put me in the wrong zone. after a zillion questions and a gazillion more POINTS, ii went to get on the net read some of ya'll bloggs 2 take my head away from HLF. (thanks 4 having great blogs out there!!) ii was really exspecting a call from HLF but that fucker never called (thanks for not regretting the HOE remark fucker!). on a lighter note, i did get a text from joseph sexy ass. he asked what ii was doing. && if he could call. DUH. so right then, he called and i stayed on the phone with him til 3. we talked about everything. when we were talking about sex we had is when i told him ii like doing it with underwear on, but he didnt have on boxers. he laughed and said "what kinda crazy shit is that" he didnt understand what difference it made. i really don't either. i guess i do, it just feels............. IDONT KNOW!! lmao. can yall explain it. it feels.... rushed, like we just cant wait for each other. he told me about a song saying "pull your panies to the side" he said that it was meant to be disrespectful. i guess thats why i like it. cause its dirty!!! lmao. cant remember that far back details of other parts of our conversation. cause we've had plenty of covoz since then. but i remember thinking how great it is to meet someone this great at a time like this in my life. ii told him everything that went down the night of the kick back. and all the things HLF said when we met up. anyhow
joseph asked me for a date and ii immediately said yes.
he wanted me to try jamacian food because on the phone we were talking about what we are mixed up with. he is part jamacian, i couldnt believe it because he is light. he told me his mom is dark she is half jamacian and half white and his dad is half black and half white. i didn't suspect that either. but when he took his hat of in the restaurant i could see the goodness of his hair. we gone have some cute kids guys! he never had cuban food. something im half of. so that what we are doing nex! in case your curious im a mut to LMAO cuban irish and black. probably a lot of other shit i don't know about.

ii didnt know what to order so i stuck with something ive heard a lot -jerk chicken- it was sooooo fucking good! he got some goat something. i was so scared to try it! it looked bomb as hell, the word GOAT threw me off. finally after some pleading, ii took a bit. im for sure going for that when we go back.

our next date was my shitt!! cuban food! ill save that date for the next post. cause some juciy shit went down. so after we ate we sat in his car and talked then we start making out. you know what that lead to. EXCEPT it was hard to get it crackin in his car (hondas) are small as shit. he asked about my spot. i said nooooooooooooo my mom is not having that shit! and he said his momz wouldnt either. thats the best fucking thing about HLF he had his own spot. joseph was saving up to move out. me. i plead the fith! lmao. so he offered a motel 6. ok i said. and we went. ii could believe he was about to spend 50 dollors on a room for one night just to do it. i was thrilled on the contrary.

we got in. ii thought it was not to shabby. he said the best thing in life. but first he said i wish i could of took you somewhere nicer. im not feeling this shit. we were so in a hot horny mess 20 minutes ago that we didnt care. he said "lets go" i was very confused. but ii questioned nothing. we went to a walmart down the way and he bought some candles a lighter, a cork screw, some flowers and some wine. i was FUCKED UP. ive never been treated like this. his total came up to $26.03 (i kept the reciept) he spent well over 100 dollars on me tonight for us. that was an embarrassing first.

when we got back we set everything up together. lit the candles put pedals everywhere all over the bed. he poured some wine into the plastic cups we found covered in plastic in the bathroom. we drank and drank and talked and talked. i start getting a lil tipsy. i was having a ball with him laughing and talking. but i was ready to do what grown people do. i was so thankful to have someone not just ready to fuck. he had a great time laughing. he's not soft but he knows how to treat a girl for real. so i got on top of him and start kissing him and unbottoning his pants. tipsy sex is the best shit. he was aggressive kissing. he start kissing my neck and the shit felt so good. once i had his pants unhooked stuck my hand in there. and rubbed his dick. i felt skin!!! he had the boxer hole!! lmao. at that point i couldnt wait for it, that shit turned me the fuck on. i crawled down to the edge of the bed pull his pants off. i stood up to take of my jeans. i crawled back on top of him. and grinded on his dick with our underwear on. pulled his dick out through the hole and slid my panies to the side and tapped his dick on my clit. i was soak'n wet. "put me in" he said. ii love those words. i got all the way on him kissed him and start working it in. once again my friends it was hard. so unfortunately he had to get on top. i want to be in control! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! at that time i was too horny to care. he worked it in slow. little stroked that built up until he was finally in all the way. i was ready to turn back around, but he wouldnt let me. ii lifted my legs up over his shoulders and he worked it right! that night was the shit! when he finally let me get on top, ii wanted to finally prove myself. ii'm a quick learn. the way to his cum is not fast. its slow and detailed!!!!!!! i was squeezing the shit out of my pussy every stroke up. i learned not to do the up and down with him. ii had to do the circular motion too. ii had him!!!!!!!!!!!!! slow and ii kept my rhythm. ii was literlly fucking counting, singing wondering what ii had to do the next day ANYTHING to keep my fucking mind from the fact that ii wanted to cum so bad. ii heard him moarning. he had his hands round my waist started to control my hips and fuck me from the bottom. eventually he flipped me over and did me missionary. he tounged me down so good. the thing he did that made me lose control is when he interlocked fingers with me and put them above my head. ii was at his mercy. then ii locked my feet around is back. we were sweating and he was moaning in my ear and ii in his. of coarse, ii was about to cum, and he was too. ii wanted to get back on top but he had my arms on lock. he moved faster when i told him ii was about to cume. he said a raspy slow "me too" BAM! came! all over the sheets! and few more quick strokes. he came. he rolled over and carried me with him. i was on top of him huffing and puffing. that shit was the shit.
i ended up calling my mother to tell her ii was spending the night at the BBF's. no questions asked.
we feel asleep.

ill finish up later guys.